You first, then me.

I can remember the feeling I had when I was asked to be on Jr. High staff at Hillside when I graduated Highschool. I was so excited and I had so many ideas of what it would be like. I thought I would have a group of girls that loved and adored me and that I would just hang out with them for an hour or two on Sundays and Wednesdays and continue on with my regular life. What I didnt know, was that I would have a rowdy group of girls (much like me and Torrie and that age), who lived to drive me up the walls and constantly wanted my attention. What I didn't know was that I would be at the church everyday prepping for the 2 days a week that we actually had students there. What I didn't know was that I would be in crazy talent shows at camp, that weren't actually showing off any talent at all, but just doing something awful and gross to get a reaction out of students. What I didn't know, was that God was starting something in me, preparing me for my future, and making plans for me that I couldn't even dream of.

I don't think that doing ministry is ever exactly what we expect it to be, mostly because we tend to make our own plans, when God has very different ones. Andrew Murray describes it best in Absolute Surrender when he writes:

"We too often make our own plans and we think that we know what ought to be done. We ask God first to bless our feeble efforts, instead of absolutely refusing to go unless God go before us"

When I look at the way I view ministry, family, relationships, etc... the thought of absolutely refusing to go without Him, is such a key point we so easily miss! How often do I make plans for my future without first asking what God wants of me? My earthly desires and goals might not necessarily be the same things He has in store for me. It comes back to the idea of fully surrendering your life to God, so that your dreams and passions would be perfectly aligned with His, because you are choosing to live in Him, moment by moment.

"Give your entire attention to what God is doing right now, and don't get worked up about what may or may not happen tomorrow. God will help you deal with whatever hard things come up when the time comes."Matthew 6:34 (the message)

I'm not sure why I am hesitant to let God take over every aspect of my future. There are recent parts I have freely given: work, housing, school... but then there are other things I still want to keep as my own. I want to continue making plans in these areas, and then crossing my fingers in hope that this God that I love so much will come through and bless MY plans. I KNOW that His plans are far greater than mine will ever be, because I have seen the work He has done in me, and the people around me. This amazing Lord I serve has opened doors for me time and time again, when I chose to pursue His plan for my life and not my own! Why do I even worry about what is going to happen in the future? I need to be worried about what God is doing in me and around me TODAY, not what happened last week, or what will be happening next month! Instead, I should be living in Him, with Him, in EVERY moment, and in EVERY aspect of my life- not just the parts I am willing to let Him have for the time being. My Savior deserves a lot more than bits and pieces.

The question always remains for me though, "Are you ready"? Will I decide to let go of the things I think I need control of? Or will I continue to hold back in hopes God will bless MY plans over His? The answer is simple- start living your life moment by moment with Him. Surrender your plans, your dreams, your desires and ask God for His- I can guarantee you wont regret it!

Lord, my prayer today is that I would learn the act of absolutely refusing to go anywhere unless You have gone before me. That my plans, my thoughts, my gifts, would be completely surrendered to You. Father, You know so much better than I do, and that is why You are God, and I am not. Thank you for loving me, even when I am forgetful that You have created me and know me inside and out, even better than I know myself.